Poem in the Dark
It's still so dark in the morning. I usually sleep in, but sometimes I wake up early. I guess the events of this poem actually took place at like 5 in the morning, but it felt like the middle of the night.
Is it a shame that my poems don't have more "original" titles? I don't like to push it.
Well, I like that this poem fits in with my "weather" series. Also, I really like looking at the snow.
Middle of the Night
Woke up a little shook up
from dreams I couldn’t remember,
took my pills, looked out
between the blinds. Snow
had piled up while I slept,
everyone’s yards blurred together
under an unseen moon.
Is it a shame that my poems don't have more "original" titles? I don't like to push it.
Well, I like that this poem fits in with my "weather" series. Also, I really like looking at the snow.
Middle of the Night
Woke up a little shook up
from dreams I couldn’t remember,
took my pills, looked out
between the blinds. Snow
had piled up while I slept,
everyone’s yards blurred together
under an unseen moon.
posted by Amanda at
8:05 PM
4 Comments:
Hello, thank you for my very first post! I'm honored. As far as the coffee goes...you actually roast the raw beans in a popcorn popper. Who knew!
I like this. I like it ending with the lawns blurring together, though. Maybe the unseen moon line could move...? Sorry, not sure if you want comments like that.
Thanks, Barb--I linked to your blog in the sidebar, too. :)
Thanks, Krissy--yes, comments with suggestions are fine! This stuff is work in progress. I think you're right that the blurry lawns are more interesting than the unseen moon, and I will keep this in mind in working on this poem.
I like the repetition of 'up' throughout. There's something perked and jarring about it that fits well with being jolted out of sleep. I dig it.
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